They say that art imitates life, which is something that for all intents and purposes we can pretty much agree with. And of course, depending who you ask, games are a form of art, so the saying must be applicable here. Now I was going to go on about how every work of art is different and represents life in a different way, but it seemed like such a schlep to have to go through all of that to reach the real point:

In this magical game called "real life" we, the characters, have to deal with nonsense like gravity and the very worrying realization that if a car should happen to drive into our homes, chances are good that we're going to have new piece of furniture sitting in our living rooms. This is something that games everywhere try to replicate to make us shout "Wow! Just like in real life!" – Possibly from the passenger seat of the mauled vehicle which is now sitting conveniently in front of your TV.

Of course, as with most art depicting reality, game physics don't quite get it right, leaving us with some really weird side-effects. Let's count down 5 instances where games and their whacky physics have made us contemplate driving cars into people's houses, just to see if they'll bounce back!

5. But I shot you…in the head!

In the games

Guns and shooting and swords and stabbing have been staples in games since the days of the NES, with blocky characters shoving a blocky pointy thing into other blocky things to make them die. Naturally, we've come a long way since then. Well, sort of. You see, even though the blocky characters are now beautifully rendered models that always seem to shine as if they were covered in baby oil; the stabbing and shooting is still pretty old-school in terms of their impact on that which is being attacked.

Sword slashes man; man staggers and continues as if he were merely pushed back by a gentle shove. Gun shoots man; man stops and then continues as if he simply walked into an invisible pole. Flashbacks of the black knight from Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail are swimming through my mind. Either the metal used in these weapons is actually really a rare cheese, or the people you're trying to kill are very, very persistent.

In real life

Well it's all really simple, isn't it? Someone shoots you and you're going to go down. Someone stabs you and you're going to be severely hampered. If you're lucky you'll get to play the lottery one last time, but probably not.

Explain yourself!

Fallout 3 gives you the wonderful V.A.T.S. system, allowing to you freeze time and target specific parts of your enemy. This system works beautifully for causing critical damage but also raises a few questions. Why, when I have crippled your head, can you still move around, let alone fire a weapon at me? Why, when I have stabbed your eyes bare, can you still aim at me with any degree of accuracy? And for the love of all that is holy, why, when I have firmly punched you in the groin multiple times, can you still be chasing after me, contents of your stomach still firmly in place? In all fairness, crippled limbs do slow people down and make them more inaccurate in their aiming - but they can still walk and hold weapons as if nothing was wrong.

What do you expect from me?!

I'm not suggesting games be true to life in this regard, (we'd all die far too easily making things insanely difficult) that would be silly. But it would be great to see some more realistic penalties, as it were, for specific injuries. Also, crotch shots should render any male enemy completely useless, naturally.